Category: Humor

At the Coffee Shop One Afternoon

  When the man in the hat ordered a beer from the high school barista at the coffee shop, I politely declined the impulse to stare; him, in his funky, retro cowboy-hat and single, dangling hoop earring ordering a beer from the kid behind the espresso machine who giggled. Poor kid. I wondered which was redder: the lad’s salty cheeks or the man’s full-body … Read More At the Coffee Shop One Afternoon

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The Trouble with Dozing in Parks

“Hey, excuse me?” called a voice. I jerked awake; and was horrified to find I had slipped into fetal position mid-doze. I pushed myself up to lean, awkward, like some uni-legged creature. There was a man standing behind the knee-height wire fence which separated Starling Park from the streets of Ranui. He had black pants and a dusty white t-shirt, which revealed sleeves of … Read More The Trouble with Dozing in Parks

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Wild Man of Swaziland

  Buck-toothed and dreadlocked the wild man of Swaziland plunged sugared fingers into a bowl of cheesy potatoes. He shifted his restless feet for a firmer perch against the mountain scree, and spat out a hunk of chicken poo. Plump beetles scampered around his hairy ankles looking frazzled to existence; the wild man took but peripheral notice his attention otherwise committed to thick fingered … Read More Wild Man of Swaziland

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Jakarta Postal System: 1; Josie: 0

I spent my birthday in Thailand, fleeing Indonesia for a week in order to renew my visa for the second half of my internship teaching English in Jakarta. In Phuket, I watched sunsets set the ocean on fire. During the days, I trekked along the rocky coasts and lounged amongst the stones, staring at the ocean, swishing my feet in the changing tides to … Read More Jakarta Postal System: 1; Josie: 0

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Half a Year Away, Away (and Happy 300!)

Half a year has gone by since I left Kansas. I’m still learning various currency exchange rates and the metric system, so still going strong (relative phrase). Relativity is a fickle friend. If I think on some of the travelers I have met—Liz and Hadyn in Assisi, who have been backpacking the world since summer 2016, Sara in Mostar, who traveled alone for three … Read More Half a Year Away, Away (and Happy 300!)

I Blame the Chin

  I watch their eyebrows raise and hands rise and shoulders follow and I know: they’re about to ask me to do something. Again. Again, again. So I steel myself, gather in my guts call forth the soldiers lounging in my spleen and I say, group-huddle: Do you all know the plan? The one that involves a speedy shut down? Do you remember what … Read More I Blame the Chin

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Theatre of Nostalgia

Yesterday I had it in mind for an evening of theatre. I imagined rocking up in my fancy shoes (of the three pairs of shoes I have, one pair is fancy), my hair freshly washed and voluminous–to keep all my secrets and spare change—and politely inquire after one ticket please, adult–obviously. I imagined swirling a glass of red wine at intermission, sipping gently, letting … Read More Theatre of Nostalgia

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Cheer Setting

Tim Ferriss attributes much of his success to the practice of “fear setting“: he takes a sheet of paper, divides it into three columns and labels them “Define”, “Prevent,” and “Repair.” Under the first column, write 10-20 things that could go wrong if you answer your question in the affirmative. Under the second column, answer: “what could I do to prevent each of these … Read More Cheer Setting

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Correspondence with the Guardian

Dear Sir or Madam— Do you know who I am? Am I as much a part of your day, as you mine? I run past your gate nearly every day—at alternating times, as it is, but nearly every day. Whatever I may be thinking, be pondering, be musing, you take me right out of it. Your great woooooof!s boom through me like the deep … Read More Correspondence with the Guardian

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Conversations with my Subconscious

It was 5:15 a.m. and my hands felt like doorknobs stapled to my wrists. My fingers had been absorbing the bulk of rain-wind-early-morning-wintery-chill combo, and I had to garner support from at least three of them to shift the gears on my bike. I’d long since forgotten I possessed toes. I was biking to Il Forno, the Italian bakery at which I play brunch … Read More Conversations with my Subconscious

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Squiddy Library

The library is, for me, punctuality’s greatest weakness. Especially Auckland’s public library, a carefully laid, intertwined system of so many books in so many libraries dotting so many corners. I can’t seem to sweep my gaze from east to west without spotting a library. They call to you.

Not Your Run-of-the-Mill Pee

It happened while I was emptying the tank in the city center train station bathroom my pink backpack clinging to life on the silver handle kicking up legs so as not to touch lava.