Humankind, albeit a tad shabby around the knees and needing a patch or two in the elbow, is a situation I am grateful to be in for mainly one reason:
Jif’s Natural Creamy Peanut Butter.
Both a noun and a complete sentence. The only peanut butter I identify with.
Last night I had a wonderful dream: I had obtained ultimate humankind status in a sponsorship from the kingdom of Jif.
I could spend my days flying and floundering through trails and mountains, writing until my little fingers bled ink and pretending I could play the ukelele like a proper hipster. All the while traveling the world and promoting the goodness that is contained in:
I’ve created the following low-quality free advertisement, just in case the head honchos in the “sponsorship department” at Jif are out and about on the interweb googling the company. Just in case they stumble upon this blog and see this post and think to themselves:
Whoa, that girl is wearing a hat and a smile and look! It’s Jif’s Natural Creamy Peanut Butter! We don’t even have to make the ad. She’s done all the work for us. Shall we sponsor her, Herb? Why yes, Don, let’s go ahead and do that.
This isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned my life desire for a Jif sponsorship. It won’t be the last.
As they say in the world of the nutcase:
Persistance is annoying, and one says yes to annoying people so they stop being bothersome.
Real. Professional. California Dream filter.
Notice me, Jif.
Peace and Blessings,